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Top ten songs to prove to your kids they didn't invent sex:



10. Bessie Smith - Empty Bed Blues

There's lot's of things you can say about sex and the blues. Lack of frank desire isn't one of them.



I woke up this morning with a awful aching head
I woke up this morning with a awful aching head
My new man had left me, just a room and a empty bed

Bought me a coffee grinder that's the best one I could find
Bought me a coffee grinder that's the best one I could find
Oh he could grind my coffee, cause he had a brand new grind

He's a deep sea diver with a stroke that can't go wrong
He's a deep sea diver with a stroke that can't go wrong
He can stay at the bottom and his wind holds out so long

He knows how to thrill me and he thrills me night and day
Oh he knows how to thrill me, he thrills me night and day
He's got a new way of loving, almost takes my breath away

Lord he's got that sweet somethin' and I told my girlfriend Lou
He's got that sweet somethin' and I told my girlfriend Lou
From the way she's raving, she must have gone and tried it too

When my bed get empty make me feel awful mean and blue
When my bed get empty make me feel awful mean and blue
My springs are getting rusty, sleeping single like I do

Bought him a blanket, pillow for his head at night
Bought him a blanket, pillow for his head at night
Then I bought him a mattress so he could lay just right

He came home one evening with his beret way up high
He came home one evening with his beret way up high
What he had to give me, make me wring my hands and cry

He give me a lesson that I never had before
He give me a lesson that I never had before
When he got to teachin' me, from my elbow down was sore

He poured my first cabbage and he made it awful hot
He poured my first cabbage and he made it awful hot
When he put in the bacon, it overflowed the pot


9. Rosetta Howard & Charles McCoy - Let Your Linen Hang Low

Partly the economic times, partly the market. Sex & money are never too distant, although sung about much more by women then men.



Let your linen hang low
Let your linen hang low
I'd do anything in the world I know
If you let your linen hang low I mean
Let your linen hang low

I ain't gone let my linen hang low
I ain't gone let my linen hang low
I don't care what in the world you know
I ain't gone let my linen hang low I mean
I ain't gone let my linen hang low

Let your linen hang low
Let your linen hang low
Close that window and lock that door
And let your linen hang low I mean
Let your linen hang low

I'll let my linen hang low
I'll let my linen hang low
If you got a dollar and a half or more
I'll let my linen hang low I mean
I'll let my linen hang low

I got a dollar and a half or more
I got a dollar and a half or so
So close that window and lock that door
And let your linen hang low I mean
And let your linen hang low


8. Bessie Smith - You've Got To Give Me Some

Bessie shows she has no problem singing from her ladybits:



Loving is the thing I crave
For your love I'll be your slave
You gotta give me some, yes give me some
Can't you hear me pleading, you gotta give me some

Said Miss Jones to old butcher Pete,
I want a piece of your good old meat
You gotta give me some, oh give me some
I crave your round steak, you gotta give me some

Sweet as candy in a candy shop
Is just your sweet sweet lollypop
You gotta give me some, please give me some
I love all day suckers, you gotta give me some

To the milkman I heard Mary scream
Said she wanted a lots of cream
You gotta give me some, oh give me some
Catch it when you come sir, you gotta give me some

Hear my cryin' on my bended knees
If you wanna put my soul at ease
You gotta give me some, please give me some
Can't stand it any longer, you gotta give me some

Seeper called to Pele-Mele, sugar lump
Said I'm going crazy about your hump
You've got to give me some, please give me some
I can't wait eight days, you gotta give me some

Jaybird said to the peckerwood,
I like to peck like a pecker should
But give me some, yes give me some
I'm crazy about them worms, you've gotta give me some


7. Dinah Washington - Long John Blues (Bette Midler version)

This one's from a loooooooong tradition of practically single entendre music hall stuff.



I've got a dentist who's over seven feet tall
Yes I've got a dentist who's over seven feet tall
Long John they call him, and he answers every call

Well I went to Long Johns office and told him the pain was killin'
Yes I went to Long Johns office and told him the pain was killin'
He told me not to worry, that my cavity just needed fillin'

He said "when I start drillin', I'll have to give you novocaine"
He said, "Yes, when I start drillin', I'll have to give you novocaine
Cause ev'ry woman just can't stand the pain"

He took out his trusted drill
And he told me to open wide
He said he wouldn't hurt me
But he'd fill my hole inside
Long John, Long John, you've got that golden touch
You thrill me when you drill me, and I need you very much

When he got through, he said "Baby that will cost you ten"
Yes when he got through, he said "Baby that will cost you ten
Six months from now, come back and see me again"

Say you're supposed to see your dentist
'Bout twice a year, that's right
But I think I feel it bobbin'
Yes I'll go back there tonight
Long John, Long John, don't ever move away
Say I hope I keep on achin' so I can see you every day.


6. Memphis Minnie - Kissing In The Dark

Memphis Minnie, and I think her first song about STDs after a couple of decades singing about how you get 'em:



Call the doctor, call him quick
I done got something ’bout to make me sick
I been kissin’ in the dark
Yeah, kissin’ in the dark
Kissin’ in the dark, honey, that’s my birthmark

Well, I had a girlfriend from Alabam’
She done put her panties all in a jam
Kissin’ in the dark
Yes, kissin’ in the dark
Kissin’ in the dark, honey, that’s her birthmark

She had a date with scrap, met a hip cat
And nobody knows where she end up at
She been kissin’ in the dark
Yes, kissin’ in the dark
She been kissin’ in the dark, honey, that’s her birthmark

Be a good pal, just swappin’ up a dime
You thinkin’ about a man, throw it out ya mind
Kissin’ in the dark
Kissin’ in the dark
Kissin’ in the dark, honey, that’s my birthmark (Yeah, let’s get it now!)

Well, you’d better wake up, and try to get wise
Get yourself hip to that old crazy jive
Kissin’ in the dark
Kissin’ in the dark
Kissin’ in the dark, honey, that’s my birthmark ( I done told you!)


5. Bessie Smith - I Need A Little Sugar In My Bowl (Nina Simone version)

Well okay. No 'splainy needed.



I want a little sugar
in my bowl
I want a little sweetness
down in my soul
I could stand some lovin'
Oh so bad
I feel so funny and I feel so sad

I want a little steam
on my clothes
Maybe I can fix things up
so they'll go
Whatsa matter Daddy
Come on, save my soul
I need some sugar in my bowl
I ain't foolin'
I want some sugar in my bowl

You been acting different
I've been told
Soothe me
I want some sugar in my bowl
I want some steam
on my clothes
Maybe I can fix things up so they'll go
Whatsa matter Daddy
Come on save my soul
I want some sugar in my bowl
I ain't foolin'
I want some - yeah - in my bowl


4. Cleo Gibson - I've Got Ford Engine Movements In My Hips

While the late 40s/early fifties developed a bit of good old fashioned girly yearning, up till then it was more usual for women to just flat out brag:



Now listen kind folks what I have to say
Happen 'bout a week ago
All about Valentino down to Lovin' Joe
Valentino, he was new, such as a Packard and such
But Lovin' Joe was like a Ford, handlin' a bit too rough
Now you know all about the machine
Got a movement you ain't never seen
I got Ford engine movements in my hips,
Ten thousand miles guarantee
A Ford is a car everybody wants to ride
Jump in, you will see
You can all have a Rolls Royce
A Packard and such
Take a Ford engine boys
To do your stuff
I've got Ford engine movements in my hips,
Ten thousand miles guarantee
I say ten thousand miles guarantee


3. Ma Rainey - Prove It On Me

And if like Ma Rainey you got arrested for being rude with ladies, there was usually just more of that defiance (yay):



Went out last night, had a great big fight
Everything seemed to go on wrong I looked up, to my surprise
The gal I was with was gone.

Where she went, I don’t know I mean to follow everywhere she goes;
Folks say I’m crooked. I didn’t know where she took it
I want the whole world to know.

They say I do it, ain’t nobody caught me
Sure got to prove it on me; Went out last night with a crowd of my friends,
They must’ve been women, ‘cause I don’t like no men.

It’s true I wear a collar and a tie,
Makes the wind blow all the while
Don’t you say I do it, ain’t nobody caught me
You sure got to prove it on me.

Say I do it, ain’t nobody caught me
Sure got to prove it on me.

I went out last night with a crowd of my friends,
It must’ve been women, ‘cause I don’t like no men.
Wear my clothes just like a fan
Talk to the gals just like any old man

Cause they say I do it, ain’t nobody caught me
Sure got to prove it on me.


2. Ruth Brown - If I Can't Sell It, I'm Gon' Sit Down On It

Where it all started:



I own a secondhand furniture store and I think my prices are fair,
Course this real cheap guy I know came in one day.
Saw this chair he wanted to buy, but he wouldn't, claimed the price was too high.
So I looked him straight in the eye, and this was my reply...
If I can't sell it, I'm gonna sit down on it.
I ain't gonna give it away. Now darling if you want it, you're gonna have to buy it.
And I mean just what I say.
Now how would you like to find this waitin at home for you every night.
Only been used once or twice but it's still nice and TIGHT!
Whoa... So if I can't sell it, I'm gonna keep sittin on it.
I ain't gonna give it away.
[...]
Now if you want this, put your hand in your stash and give me some cash.
Now if you want something for free, go to the Salvation Army, don't come runnin to me.
Now this is not Saint Paul's place, this is Ruth's place. Read my lips. NO FREE TRIPS!


1. Lucille Bogan - Shave 'Em Dry

And where you prove to your kids that modern hip hop is just a bunch of frigid prudes:



I got nipples on my titties, big as the end of my thumb,
I got somethin’ between my legs’ll make a dead man come,
Oh daddy, baby won’t you shave ‘em dry?
Aside: Now, draw it out!
Want you to grind me baby, grind me until I cry.

Say I fucked all night, and all the night before baby,
And I feel just like I wanna, fuck some more,
Oh great God daddy,
Grind me honey and shave me dry,
And when you hear me holler baby, want you to shave it dry.

I got nipples on my titties, big as the end of my thumb,
Daddy you say that’s the kind of ‘em you want, and you can make ‘em come,
Oh, daddy shave me dry,
And I’ll give you somethin’ baby, swear it’ll make you cry.

I’m gon’ turn back my mattress, and let you oil my springs,
I want you to grind me daddy, ’til the bell do ring,
Oh daddy, want you to shave ‘em dry,
Oh great God daddy, if you can’t shave ‘em baby won’t you try?

Now if fuckin’ was the thing, that would take me to heaven,
I’d be fuckin’ in the studio, till the clock strike eleven,
Oh daddy, daddy shave ‘em dry,
I would fuck you baby, honey I’d make you cry.

Now your nuts hang down like a damn bell sapper,
And your dick stands up like a steeple,
Your goddam ass-hole stands open like a church door,
And the crabs walks in like people.
Aside: Ow, shit!
Aside: Ooh! Baby, won’t you shave ‘em dry

A big sow gets fat from eatin’ corn,
And a pig gets fat from suckin’,
Reason you see this whore, fat like I am,
Great God, I got fat from fuckin’.
Aside: Eeeeh! Shave ‘em dry

My back is made of whalebone,
And my cock is made of brass,
And my fuckin’ is made for workin’ men’s two dollars,
Great God, round to kiss my ass.
Aside: Oh! Whoo, daddy, shave ‘em dry




Notice all these are women. Most of them are well known, mainstream blues and jazz ladies. Men got more money singing about sex, but the women just *did* it better.

Date: 2009-08-26 06:29 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
Oh my!!! *Fans self*

Loving this

And BTW it's Deb here being anonymous

Date: 2009-08-26 08:16 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
*lurks and hides in the shadows*

\0/

Date: 2009-08-26 09:07 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
I cannot DO another site!

So I shall be anonymous but politely sign my name


Deb

Date: 2009-08-26 09:25 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
I've given into Twitter and Facebook

I mut stand firm on at least one issue. I shall bookmark this and read it and admire your lovely Lilycat icon but I need another blog/social network like I need a thing that I have no need of


D
X


Date: 2009-08-27 06:01 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
*g*


RESOLVE FACE!


D
x

Date: 2009-08-27 12:50 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
How does one set this up. Don't you need some kind of invite?

Lurky

Date: 2009-08-27 01:34 pm (UTC)
lurky: (Default)
From: [personal profile] lurky
OK done and done. Thank you.

Now, how do I add friends.

Date: 2009-08-27 05:51 pm (UTC)
lurky: (Default)
From: [personal profile] lurky
I can now read and post.\o/\o/\o/

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bendybendy

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